Moms are losers

As of  7:30 this morning I have lost at everything I have done today. I raced Den monster from his room to the kitchen, I lost. I wrestled with Gav, I lost. I wrestled Dinosaurs with Den, I lost. I raced Kylee to see who could finish breakfast faster, I lost again.

Now Obviously I am faster than Den he is one of the few people in the world that I have longer legs than. I am stronger than them and I had less food and my mouth is bigger than Kylee's. Part of me thought am I teaching my kids to be wimps by letting them win? Are they going to grow up to be those kids that expects life who cries when they dont get the promotion, and carries their blankey around in their brief case? Than Aiden giggled because his Dinosaur won! I realized then it doesn't matter. What matters is my kids are having fun and feel special. If that means I have to come in second or let a 14 month old pin me during a wrestling match then so be it. I will be a loser and feel like a great mom for it! 

Secrets from the mind of a mommy

I have this habit of purposely  forgetting things at the store so I have an excuse to leave hubs at home with the kids and have a few min to my self. Of course a few min turns into about an hour and is usually ended by a where the hell are you text from the hubs, To which I respond by checking out and rushing home to play the mommy game until I can find another escape.

{Now my question is do normal non stay at home parent people do this also, or is this just a trick from the mind of a mommy on lock down?}

Now the blog title was secret-S which implies more than one. But I worry if I let every one in on the rest I might be discovered and that might end my excuses to escape. 

Water marble nails

So Friday night I escaped from my mad house to my besties much quieter house in the country for a good old fashioned sleep over.

Now let me just say I have the most kick ass best friend in the world! She is loud, crazy, fun, doesn't care what any one thinks, and I can tell her anything and she will love me regardless. All in all I am pretty freakin lucky to know I will have some one to entertain me in the nursing home!

Now that you know how lucky I am back to my story. We had a good old fashioned sleep over with alcohol of course! we did all the usual's pizza, AWESOME red velvet ice cream,  ghost adventures and walking the whole town bare foot. To end the night she taught me an amazing nail trick!
                                       

                                                  See pic here of my mind blowing amazing nails            

Now know this was no easy feat but it gave us lots of time for girl talk. I will now tell you how to get your nails to look as awesome as mine.

1) fill a BOWL not a small glass ( the mistake we made) with water
2) put tape or vasiline on your fingers so not to get paint on them will save you a ton of paint removal time trust me!  This was the second mistake we made.
3) Drip paint into the water and swirl with tooth pick
4) put your finger into the swirl, not next to the swirl
5) repeat step 4 till the design it actually on your nail    

Then you will have amazing nails like mine!                      

Covered in poo

So today I had this brightly stupid idea I have once a month to go grocery shopping. Now lets remember I have 3 beautifully evil children. Yes, I took them all the 5 year old, 3 year old, and 1 year old with me. Our first stop was sprouts and other than then Den monster trying to throw himself to his death out of the cart it was all pretty smooth. Next was walmart and what posses me to take 3 kids to walmart for monthly grocery shopping you ask? Hunger and lack of time. So in we go. I tried starting off with suckers and that kept them quiet for all of 30 seconds by the time we make it back to the milk full blown screaming. Then the inevitable happens both boys poop and we are not talking normal poop, we are talking full on running down the legs oatmeal for breakfast poop. About this time I give up I have half the groceries in the cart screw it! So I head to check out I start to pull groceries out not realizing Den monster had rubbed poop all over the  side of the cart so now there is poop all over me poop all over him poop running down Smunch’s legs and as I am looking at the grossed out cashier who can not get us out of there faster While monster is attempting to help me by smashing our bread all I can think is why the hell did I cloth diaper today and 8 hours to Margaritas!